Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
