ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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