cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
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