Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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