you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
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