what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
i need some magic done to my vagina
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
