There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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