New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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