I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
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The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day ππ#pensacolaproblems
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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