she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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