True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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