we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
