He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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