super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
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I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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