Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
