I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
