Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
