We won't sleep together?
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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