He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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