EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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