you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
