And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
