i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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