My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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