I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
