shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Randomize
