a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Randomize
