This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
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