Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
