Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
