Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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