i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize