do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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