A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
