I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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