My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
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