beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
