I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
