i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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