On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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