So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Randomize
