What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
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