I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
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