look no pants
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
