It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
