Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
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