chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
