I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
