apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize