shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
