last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
