somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
