just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
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