problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
