So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Alive.
So much puke
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
