Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
