Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
