For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
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