Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
