in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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