You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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