I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Houston, we have a squirter
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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