I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
