I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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