yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
