So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
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