My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
